14,378, May 26- crazy meet mad [Vax & Open]

[Envi]

i took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
i left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time
i watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
and i feel like there is nothing i can do
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The alarm went off, dragging Envi out of her little slumber as she rolled off the couch, mostly because the tardis shifted and practically threw her off. You see, most time lords have nice and fancy little tardises that can run around in, but Envi made hers from pieces of junk with a crazed mind, so hers doesn't work as nicely as the others. In fact, any time lord would claim it a miracle it worked at all! Pushing herself off of the floor, she shook her head around, her red locks flailing around her freckled face. Batting her eyes, she let the chocolate gaze soon rest upon the console of her tardis. For most tardises, the console was various little mechanicals all working together around a large jar like thing. Not for Envi's tardis though. The console was a circular organ with the pipes sticking up in the middle while the keys ran around them. Struggling to her feet, Envi rushed to the console to see the keys blinking and groaned as she snatched her large nerd glasses as they slide upon the top of the organ. Putting them on, she began to nibble upon her lower lip before she went to work playing the keys before her, following the ones that were lighting up. Yeah, she had her tardis tell her what she needed to do, made her life easier. 'Course, whether it would work or not was a completely different question! This time, it did with a heavy landing that caused Envi to float in the air for a moment before landing squarely upon her butt.

Sprawled out on the carpet of her tardis, she groaned a bit before dragging herself to her feet, "At least I didn't lose a companion!" she exclaimed as she stared over to where her companion was, but he was not there this time. Slapping her forehead, she muttered, "Right, he left ten days ago," she paused a moment as her hand dropped from her forehead, "Or was that ten hours ago? Wait, what am I doing? RIGHT! Exploring!" she exclaimed before rushing to the door of her tardis and bursting out into the new world! The moment she pushed out of the cardboard box, she was greeted by the smell of garbage and her nose wrinkled instantly, "Could be worse, could be IN the garbage....or even upside down," she informed herself before she realized a cool breeze brushing against her body. After a few moments of thought, she slowly looked down to realize she was still in her underwear and nothing else, "Hehe," she giggled nervously to herself before she slowly backed up into the box and closed the door behind her. Screaming her head off, she ran towards the wardrobe in the corner of the tardis. Yes, her tardis was only one room since it wasn't like all the others. There were many doors in the single room of the tardis, but only one actually led anywhere. The others wouldn't even open!

Rummaging through her clothes, she decided to keep things simple as she tossed on a large hoodie that practically acted like a dress and smiled at it. "Its so cozy!" she giggled as she hugged herself. After a moment of that, she went back to her cloths and slipped into a long purple dress, instantly clashing with her fuchsia hoodie and finally topped it all off with just a pair of simple orange sandals. With her clothing picked out, Envi soon grabbed her makeshift sonic screwdriver and her customized Mauser pistol. Her screwdriver went up her sleeve into a little pocket she had made just for her sonic, and her Mauser went into the pocket in the front of her hoodie, just because it was easier to keep it there. "Now I am ready!" she declared before rushing to the door once again and slammed right into it, "OOOWW!!" she screamed as she bounced off the wrong door, "Why do you keep doing this to me," she cried as she moved to the right slightly and pried open the right door.

Stepping out of the tardis a second time, she felt much better since the breeze couldn't be felt by every body part of hers. "Now to have some fun! Where are we," she queried to herself as her last incarnation materialized nearby, only seen by her of course. 'Does it honestly matter, you won't listen to me even if I told you,' he grumbled as Envi bounced away from him, 'See.' Leaving her tardis behind as a cardboard box, Envi found herself on the wonderful planet of New Earth in what she believes to be New Jersey! Or rather New New Jersey. Clapping her hands together, she wandered out into traffic, the horns of cars blaring at her while screeches of brakes sounded through the air. Turning to stare at the car that was honking at her, and inches from actually hitting her, Envi just smiled and waved, "Hello to you too, car person!" Crossing the street, Envi stared at some merchants who were attempting to sell books, bags, and movies to anyone that passed by. There were also all sorts of people around! All shapes and sizes, even some that were green! Envi could only be amazed by the sight, even if she has seen it many times before, she just enjoys it. That is about when she noticed a tail flailing around nearby. Her eyes instantly locked onto it as she followed this tail and a dorky little smile crossed her lips as she got closer to it. "Gotcha!" she shouted as she reached out to grab the tail, unaware it actually belonged to someone...

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958 < words
Vax & open < who
3 doors down < lyrics
hans < credit

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[Vax'teirlen]

"dododooo humdedumdum" Vax'teirlen sang aloud in quite an annoying tone as he walked about the city, as he did so he swung his legs forward keeping them strait as rods. His maw had a quite toothy grin upon it that seemed to deter people from passing to close to him, there was a clear and obvious space where people would not pass him. This however only seemed to make his grin spread wider and a chuckle to escape his mouth. If it were not for the fact he was the last of his kind law enforcement probably would've locked him in some asylum years ago.

As he strut though the city he stopped at many stands and shops browsing some places and buying seemingly useless old technology and odd objects from others. His arms were leaded with bags and his tail swished wildly as he danced about. He even manged to knock over three people in the process. As he walked he caught something out of the corner of his eye. For a moment he thought he saw a cardboard box appear out of nowhere. He simply placed it as part of his imagination when he saw a half naked woman burst out. Typical for a back alley. He thought with mild disgust and continued on.

Much to his surprise that same woman now fully dressed although oddly grabbed his tail with a mild pull that startled Vax to the point of dropping all the things he had purchased. He quickly whipped around and faced the one whom grabbed him. "Gah bloody hell!" He yelled almost right in Envi's face before bursting out into laughter. "I dropped my things!" he announced with almost pride before sniffing the woman without even the slightest attempt to hide it. "YOU ARE A TIMELORD!" He blurted out much too loud then looked around to make sure no one was giving them any looks.

[Envi]

i took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
i left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time
i watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
and i feel like there is nothing i can do
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When the owner of the tail turned around, Envi stood straight up and stared at the fox that was staring back at her. Her head tilted to the side as Vax showed off his surprise and a bit of amusement at the situation before him. Clearly the man had never been surprised before or he would have acted much more cavalier at all of this. While he sniffed the air, Envi took the time to actually study this magnificent creature that not only had a tail, but a snout and sharp pointy teeth! How anyone could not take a shot at him was far beyond Envi's knowledge, after all, he looked just like a fox. Perhaps a bit bigger than most, but he was still a fox, so why weren't the humans hunting him down and shooting him? Isn't that what they did? Run around shotting animals in the name of sport? "Maybe its not fox season," she mused out loud, but she was mostly talking to herself, just has a bad habit of saying what she thinks out loud for the world to hear.

Shifting her gaze to all the tid bits the fox was carrying, her mind instantly began to piece them together like some sort of puzzle, but these pieces were not to the same puzzle. "Piddily-pooks," she cursed before her attention swiftly diverted to Vax who called her a time lord. A giggle pushed through her lips, "Oh, silly little fox," she began as her right hand rose from her side and attempted to poke the tip of his nose, "Speaking of things in which you could never understand. Oh, you would be so cute up on a mantle in my room," she giggled to herself, "But, I suppose you must suffer the same fate as the rest. Inevitable death by some crazy octopus. Did you know that they have eight squiggly legs with suction cups on them?" Envi seemed to have a childlike wonder to her as she gave her dumbfounded smile and slowly moved to one of the tables that were close by. Without thought, or care, she sat up on the edge of the table while the merchant shouted hey at her. Turning to look at him, she just smiled and said, "Hello, isn't it a wonderful day to die?" The man stared at her when she said this and was unsure how to even respond while Envi diverted her attention back to the fox.

"So, sly little foxxy, do you happen to spot the box?" she queried to him, but she honestly wasn't referring to her box, "You know, the box of magical wonders and vast knowledge? Have you seen it. I have not seen it, but I fear I wish I could. Sadly, I lack the proper tools of the trade to create the frame it requires to hold. Could you create the frame?" she asked him. The man who owned the table was soon getting irritated and set his hand upon Envi's shoulder, "Miss, it is time for you to get off my table, unless you want trouble," he threatened. Holding up her finger to Vax, asking him, without words, to wait a second, Envi turned her attention to the merchant. "Can you not see I am fornicating with my new friend here? So, are you lacking the balls to see or have your receivers gone missing? Interrupt me again, and I will end you, okay?" she said with a disturbing smile before looking back at Vax, "I am sorry. Lessers can be so annoying with their demands. It is almost as if they think the run the planet. Sad that they know very little of what festers beneath their feet," she rambled a bit before attempting to focus back on the problem at hand, "So, what frame were you attempting to create?"

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650 < words
Vax & open < who
3 doors down < lyrics
hans < credit

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[Vax'teirlen]

Vax looked upon the timelord before him and shot her a cruel look that quickly changed to a smirk. "Fox season? Nah! A good doctor once proclaimed I wasn't edible." He declared to Envi. He watched as her attention changed to the things he had been carrying before and frowned. It wasn't that he didn't like her looking its that he had no idea what he would actually use them for.

The woman reached out to poke his nose, he didn't make any real attempt to stop it. Her immediate response to his statement about timelords had him quite irritated. He didn't quite like the idea of his head on the mantel of anyone's living room. It just didn't sit well at all. Her talk of death was even stranger. Why worry about such things when there was life to be lived. Oh well he's talked about weirder things before. He watched as she sat on a random counter with a grin. "No boundaries at all" he mumbled with a chuckle.

In a moment she was off on another topic. This one caught Vax's attention much more than the earlier talk of death. "Box? Yeah I saw your box, but you're not talking about yours. You are perhaps talking about something blue?" He said well more like asked. "If that isn't it are you asking me to build a TARDIS, or perhaps you are asking for me to build a thingy to hold a TARDIS? OR! Perhaps something completely different?!" He rambled aloud not making much sense at all.

Vax listened again as her topic went from something involving the doctor or perhaps a tardis to the man whom owned the stand she sat upon. He chuckled at the look the man seemed to have upon receiving the threat. He cocked his head to the side upon her comment about lessers then her question. "I wasn't really trying to build any one thing. I have projects here and there but perhaps they can wait. Think i could possibly get a lift in your box of wonders? In exchange I can build you whatever you may need within limits, though those limits haven't been met yet so who knows what I can do." He said to the woman before him.

[Envi]

i took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
i left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time
i watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
and i feel like there is nothing i can do
( - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - )

His reply to her mentioning fox season caused Envi to laugh and shake her head slowly as she wiped a tear from her eye, "Oh, silly fox. Everyone is edible, you, me, even that guy over there. It's just a question if someone wants to eat you," she purred in response to his 'foolishness'. Though, she was enjoying his company since most people would probably have left her by now thinking she is just some rambling fool. Heck, most time lords could barely stand Envi for more than five minutes! Maybe cause they saw her as a moronic child playing in a sandbox while they were 'gods' in comparison. 'Course, she was no child since she was older than most time lords, well the ones that were actually fun at least. Anyone her age or older were too stable for her tastes and it annoyed her more than anything else! On the thought of stability, her other form showed up in her vision once again. 'Do we honestly have to sit around talking to a fox? Can't we just kill him and be done with this foolish endeavor,' he queried Envi as she just glared at him. "That is very rude to say about our guest. What if he heard you call him a fool. I doubt he would be very happy about that," she mused before a light bulb went off in her head and her attention shifted back to Vax, "Oh! Is it still considered bestiality if you were to have hot and wild sex with a fox or would that just be mating in your species? Or slightly in it since you seem to be more of a human and fox hybrid. Where you an experiment gone wrong or were you just randomly created like this by some cruel god?" she shot the questions out like a reporter trying to get to the bottom of a story, and she clearly had little thought about how Vax would actually take these questions.

"Boundaries are for fools and naked bodies," she stated with a firm nod, "Yup! Clothes were made to protect the boundary of random nudity, so it annoys me when so many girls around around half naked with their short, short skirts and practically wearing a bra!" Envi flailed her arms at the 'insanity' she spoke of, "It is simply disgusting and quite scary, don't you agree? And, no, no. That is not a box of wonders, it is more of a box of death, especially the blue one. So many people do not live to tell their tale of the blue box. Mine goes happily ignored! And, no, the hero is not here at the time, just the anti-hero. And stop spouting off words like that. You will cause a ruckus then I will have to shoot you, and I do not want to do such an evil act so early in my day," she rambled while the merchant had grabbed a bat and was inching towards Envi. Slipping her hand into her hoodie pocket, she drew her Mauser pistol and trained it on the man's head, "But I do enjoy a little blood in the morning, don't you agree, sweetie?" she queried the man as she gave him a deviant little smile, and he returned it with a nervous laugh before dropping the bat and running for his life, "Call me!" she called after him. Putting her pistol away, she turned her attention back to Vax, "And I was wanting more of a," she paused as she tried to search for the right words, her counterpart shaking his head, "A movie box! You know, one of those frames with a little moving picture!" she exclaimed as it finally came to her.

"Aw, not trying to build anything? That is a foolish way to go shopping. You do that and you just start buying everything. Always have a goal! That's what my toe tells me at least. Though, I think he is crazy and just wants to get with the thumb," she stated, leaning forward and whispering the last bit into Vax's ear. Sprawling out onto the table, that was all hers since the merchant abandoned it, she gave a happy sigh, "So, little foxxie wants to go out and find the hero of blue? That seems like a very silly task, but we suppose we could accommodate your request, for a movie box. Our home has everything a girl could want, besides a cushioned spring and a movie box, but the former doesn't matter too much right now. So, what say you?" she queried as she sat up and stared at Vax, "Does your capabilities suggest you can create a proper movie box for our home or do we have to leave you behind?"

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808 < words
Vaxxie & open < who
3 doors down < lyrics
hans < credit

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[Vax'teirlen]

Vax could only chuckle at the statement about the edibility of everyone. Twas true yet no one would ever dare to admit it so nonchalantly in man's so called civilization. It was actually for the moment anyway quite fun to talk to a fellow madman er woman. She never seemed to run out of new things to spout and this next one had Vax'teilen a bit taken aback. She spoke to herself or rather an apparition of her mind this could only leave vax one possible thing to say, "How charmingly mad and quite odd." He stated to her with a smirk. To most being called mad was an insult but really Vax only ever used the word as a compliment, just one of the many quirks about this strange alien.

Envi's next set of questions almost blindsided the poor old fox. For one he didn't even think of such things much anymore and the second being it was a might bit offensive but, He wasn't about to somehow make this timelord angry they had ways of dealing with things and besides she was Vax's opportunity to see the stars. "Well now that is a good question." He said with an almost evil smirk. He intended at least in theory to fluster this person as much as she had done him for at least a moment anyway. "I guess there could be many ways to calculate that. Well I am sentient and have the ability to say yes so I guess in that light its not but on the other hand some might think it wrong due to how close I look like an earth animal. Though me I don't much care what anyone thinks. My actions are my own business and anyone's involved." He said with a bit of a leer before moving on to her next question. "As for your next asking, I am the one the only and the last of a race whom was killed by The Master and in some ways saved by The Doctor." As the man said this for a brief moment a deep sorrow could be seen in his eyes and then a sense of debt but, before too long he seem just fine.

When Envi began to ramble or rather rant again Vax simply nodded his head in agreement. Its not that he didn't agree its just at times he didn't much mind seeing a free show at some naive person's expense. It was when she spoke of tardises that his ears perked up before snapping down at the mention of shooting him though that passed and she started hassling the shop owner and that was just fine with Vax. He chuckled at her remark as the man ran away. When the timelady finally did say just what it was she wanted Vax'teirlen's whole expression lightened. He could defiantly build a tv and if that was all she wanted for a ride He'd build the best damn tv ever. "You want a TV eh? I'll build you the best damn TV I can!" He declared with glee before grabbing the timelord's arm and pulling her into a store where he bought the necessary parts. "To you're box then?" He asked with a grin, "I need somewhere with a roof so I can work on this more comfortably." He finished as he shifted the things in his arms to a more manageable position.

[Envi]

i took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
i left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time
i watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
and i feel like there is nothing i can do
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He called her charmingly mad, the mad part caused Envi's lip to twitch with a bit of anger flaring in her eyes. She honestly didn't know what to think since she did enjoy the charming part, but the mad kept ringing in her ears, and she couldn't get past it. How could he call her mad?! HOW! Fingers curled up into a fist while she let her tongue drag roughly against the tips of her teeth, uncaring about the pain that caused. Trying to keep herself from killing him though, she rapped her nails upon the table while her mind tried to just push it all aside, start fresh some may say. 'Oh, you know you can't let it go. You are not built that way. Might as well shoot him and get it all over with,' her insanity spoke. He moved towards the fox and held Envi's Mauser in his hand, 'One shot and you can show him how much of a fool he is,' he smirked as he pulled the trigger. Envi flinched as she watched Vax's body drop to the ground dead, his brain splattered upon the pavement, but she also saw another Vax standing perfectly fine over the body, 'He might as well have called you insane anyways, so why should we let him live,' he laughed, though Envi was not amused as she drew her pistol and trained it on the head of her incarnation. Vax may think she was actually pointing the gun at him, but she said nothing as she just glared until her incarnation vanished into thin air.

Sighing heavily, she put her pistol away again and focused her attention on Vax as he rambled on. He was replying to Envi's statement about him and foxes, but she had completely forgotten all about that statement already and just stared at him like he was weird. Blinking slowly at him, she wasn't quite sure what to even say as she just nodded her head slowly, "Okay then, mister foxxie," she replied to the first and shook her head slowly in disbelief at the fact that she had somehow asked him a question. She couldn't remember what she asked! Oh, she felt so scatter brained right, or feared that this man was crazier than her. A giggle came to her lips at that thought since she knew full well she was more insane than anyone the universe could produce! When she heard the Master being mentioned, she giggled like a little girl, "Now, now. You are such a silly fox. The Master wouldn't just kill your people without a reason, your people must have just been naive little foxxies that couldn't understand the nose upon your maw," she insulted him rather easily and in a way that didn't really sound like an insult. Somehow, she was very good at seeming innocent, even if she had already drawn her pistol twice.

He soon claimed that he could make a tv and those two letters made little sense to Envi's mind as they were put together. Yet, she couldn't really announce her confusion since her arm was grabbed and she was dragged into a nearby store that had a few pieces and parts. Almost reminded her of the junk yard she came to. While he gathered up all the parts he required, Envi's mind was lost as she stared at all the pieces of mental around and let her hand drag along a random piece of junk. A soft giggle pushing through her lips before she was disrupted by Vax's voice. Turning to stare at him, she perked a brow slowly. "I am sorry, but do I know you?" she queried before shrugging her shoulders, "Oh well, I suppose I could take you to our home, as long as you are potty trained. You are, right?" she rudely questioned him before skipping towards her tardis, letting Vax follow her. "There once was a foxxie who sat on a noxxie before he turned into a poxxie and then blew up with Nixon!" she sung as she bounced along until she came upon the cardboard box she called home. Pushing the door open, she went inside and allowed Vax to follow before the door simply closed itself. "Welcome to the lair! Do not touch the piano!" she swiftly ordered as she wagged her finger at Vax, "Touching it means you forfeit your life, got it foxxie?"

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754 < words
vax & open < who
3 doors down < lyrics
hans < credit

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[Vax'teirlen]

Before Vax could even register it a gun was pointed at his face. He had only been in such a situation a few times all of them save for one other at least had happened for a reason but, this one seemed to be unprovoked and completely random. This made his blood boil. Another unprovoked timelord attack! He thought while pondering ways to dispatch Envi should she even think about actually taking a shot at him but, she made no sound nor any motion that showed she would shoot. After a short while she even put the gun away. This allowed the fox to relax again.

When she spoke to him he finally snapped out of his blind rage and was brought back to reality. After a pause he heard her mention how naive his people, this had him slightly back in the rage mode for a brief moment it seemed as if he would flip his lid, many people had noticed this and walked an even greater distance from him and shot the pair repulsed or shocked looks as if they were beyond such anger and thought it was below them before he decided to just let it go and be done with it. He simply did not speak in fear that his words would betray him.

After his shopping was complete Envi began to lead him to her tardis after a short remark. About half way to it Vax spoke up, "Wait a minute!" he blurted out loudly causing more than one passerbyer flinch with surprise. "I don't believe we have even properly introduced ourselves. My name is Vax'teirlen, and yours is?" He said with a cheery voice.

~WITHIN ENVI'S TARDIS~

As soon as Vax set foot into the TARDIS he scampered off to a corner and began tinkering with the parts he bought for the television. The first thing he did was build the TV itself, He started wiring the proper parts to a blank circuit board then connecting it to the main screen, he added a temporary power source and tested it out. It worked! Not a second after he got the TV to work he moved on to a receiver that was capable of connecting to the proper stations anywhere in the univers, some restrictions applied. The fox then connected the box to the TV and eureka! They now had free cable!

Vax turned to Envi with a smirk and said, "So, what do you think?"

[Envi]

i took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
i left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time
i watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
and i feel like there is nothing i can do
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The fact that Vax wanted to know who Envi was barely seemed to register for her as she jaunted to her tardis with a bright smile upon her lips. Though, she did manage to catch his name and giggled at it. "Vaxxie!" she exclaimed before she turned to stare at him for a moment, "Oh, I suppose you can call me Envi, for I am the envy of all living beings," she smirked with pride. Within the safety of her tardis, she bounced around like a hyper little child and kept touching everything around, even dragging her fingers along the organ in the middle of the room. Meanwhile, she barely noticed Vax putting everything together and the moment he spoke up, she stared over at him and perked a brow slowly. Noticing the television, she tilted her head and examined it closely. It looked good, but for some reason, Envi didn't think it actually looked right. So, instead of saying it was crap, she pulled her pistol from her hoodie and put a bullet in the screen and smiled, "Yay, now it is perfect, thank you. Now, where would you like to go?" she queried as she took a seat upon the round organ. Her hands came to rest on either side of her ass, her gun still in her left hand, and the organ sounded.

With the sound of music filling the air, the tardis began to disappear from New Earth and go to a new place. The travel there, however, was not pretty as there was some heavy turbulence that tossed Envi off of the organ and sent her sliding across the floor of her tardis. "Aack, grab an immovable, quickly," she shouted to Vax while she clung to a nearby chair. Luckily for her, everything was bolted down, just for this very reason.

(Continues here)

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307 < words
Vax < who
3 doors down < lyrics
hans < credit

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